A Texas woman found a snake head in a bag of green beans. Meaning someone will be finding a bean in their bag of snake heads.

“The garbage needs to go out. It’s full of candy wrappers.” “Is Eminem in there?”

Beastie Boys is putting out another album! Update: It’s been cancelled due to sabotage.

If Charmin had any idea where I was sticking their toilet paper, I doubt they’d spend so much time on the pretty little designs.

Proof that Jesus and his disciples were all Mexicans… It says in the Bible that they all traveled in one accord!

I wanted to make a joke about quantum physics, but I wasn’t sure if I should. So I did and didn’t.

The basics of male masturbation Are easy to grasp.

“Everyday I’m shoveling” – Canadians Theme Song.

Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent? The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!

Mah friend asked me if i wanna know the opposite of Han I said “nah”