What do Muslim children color with? A Quran

[Gets Twitter error: “Somehow, somewhere, something went wrong”] I know Twitter, I know. That’s why I’m here.

I just saw my 25-year-old son run water on a slice of pizza to cool it off. I need to sit down.

How did the homeless handicap child die? Alone

If Nefertiti owned a topless bar which served tea she could have marketed her business with t-shirts. You could call them ‘Nefertiti’s titties, tease, teas, and tees.’ Edit: better grammar/phrasing.

TREE: [sees christmas tree thru window] who dose he think he is. all dressed up. too good to be outside ANOTHER TREE: be nice, he is dying

Why did god give women legs? Have you ever seen the trail a snail leaves?

A bear is asking a rabbit a question “Don’t you have problems with shit sticking on your smooth fur?” Rabbit goes : Naaah, I don’t have a problem with that. So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

I have just seen a load of dyslexic africans. They were laying flowers at nissan maindealers.

A lawyer walks into a bar… exam. I just thought of this one. Not sure if I’m the first.