Those glasses really do make you look more dignified. Respectacles

If you are charged with possession of marijuana Is it called joint custody?

Pac-Man taught me that you can eat ghosts if you take enough pills.

How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. They’re an efficient people, but not very funny.

So far, too much day and too little hump.

My Son is a porn star… …I had to have my wife arrested.

I was going to buy some Veet wax strips, but then i realized they were a rip-off

Jesus walks into a bar “Just 12 waters please”, while winking at his disciples.

My gynecologist recognized me at the grocery store, so I guess I need to start wearing longer skirts.

It’s 2016, I don’t need to set my clocks back manually I just have my Negro James do it for me.