What is the one thing you can’t say even on the internet? [removed]

No, I don’t hate you. I promise. Cross my heart and hope you die.

Why did the cop climb the tree? He worked for a special branch.

Did you guys hear about the joke about the high wall? It’s so funny, I’m still trying to get over it.

I walked in on my best friend Larry banging my wife. I said “Larry, I gotta’, but you?”

Our family’s annual tradition, as I put up the tree, everybody gathers around to watch my wife tell me I’m stringing the lights wrong.

Gas is so cheap right now, I just buy a new car when I run out.

Did you hear the new broom joke? It’s sweeping the nation!

If I say, “Don’t worry, I’m on it,” there’s a 98% chance I’m referring to my couch.

[on a date with a caribou as a favor to my sister] me: so…did you like the movie? caribou: *knocks over candy display & tramples 3 kids*