My husband is playing Super Mario Bros with our sons and one of them is having a MAJOR tantrum. Sadly, it’s my husband.

Damn girl, are you astrophysics? Because I don’t know enough about you to finish this joke.

You know what really gets my goat? The Chupacabra

Facebook has pretty much made it impossible to ever again say, “I had no idea it was your birthday!”

I’m not an alcoholic I just have a lot of things to celebrate.

What part of the computer the astronaut likes the most? A space bar.

I tried changing my password to “brazildefense” but Reddit said it was too weak hope you find it funny!

Strange that the Bible has no bibliography.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

God wasn’t trying to get Marry pregnant with Jesus. Turns out he was wearing a holey condom.