How did hipster kid hurt himself? He touched the stove before it was cool…

How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer? Because she can clean her crack and sell it again

Whats the difference between a crab with big boobs and a bus station full of punks? One is a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus station

What do you call a Jamaican with diahorrea? *Cool Runnings*

I am not that kind of woman…I”m much worse.

Why did Helen Keller mastutbate with one hand? So she could moan with the other.

When the sun explodes you will have eight minutes before the world ends. In a related story, you might want to order dessert now.

You know what I hate? People who answer their own questions.

Want to hear a joke about pizza? Nah, it’s too cheesy.

Shaving your beard is a great way to remember what you looked like when you were 5.