Some guy ordered a glass of coke. I told him to take a pitcher, it’ll last longer.

Whatever Mom, IF THAT’S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!!!

What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dre

Why does Middle Eastern civilization have no major accomplishments? .

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but I have no clue how they got in there.

What is stronger an elephant or a snail ? A snail because it carries it’s house an elephant just carries its trunk !

What is long and yellow and always points north? A magnetic banana.

Teach a man about politicians Show a man politicians and he becomes interested for a day Teach a man to be a politician and he loses his spine

People use to laugh at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian. No ones laughing now! 🙁

CNN is confirming that the only news in the world today is the blizzard. everything else is under control.