My dream girl is basically a pizza in a mini skirt.

Why did the worker at the M&M factory get fired? …he threw out the W’s

My mother and father separated last year and my father recently started seeing someone and it’s been very hard for me. There are two major issues I have with his new partner. He’s black.

I’ve started dating Little Red Riding Hood’s gran. She’s an animal in bed.

What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef Jerky

How do you circumcise a Trump supporter? Kick his sister in the jaw.

you know what people with alopecia say…. you know what people with alopecia say… hair today gone tomorrow

I Just got fired from the orange juice factory. They said I could not concentrate

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s…That’s because she changes it more often.

How is marriage and CPR training the same? You get a certificate for showing you can do it and hope to god you never have to do it again