Guitar players are actually quite a religious bunch… They’ve all found Gsus at some point.

What did the Alaska Native’s girlfriend say when she broke up with him? *”I’m just not that Inuit.”*

What is the greatest joke in the world? My life. My life is a joke.

What do you call a pile of cats? A MEOWntain! Thank you.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went… Then it dawned on me.

How can a male get a maid for free? He gets married.

I want my marriage to be a forever one night stand, laughing and joking, beer drinking, dancing, pizza in bed kinda relationship.

Computers are like old testament gods. Lots of rules and no mercy. Not mine, got it somewhere on the internet.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotapus

*good cop/bad cop interrogation* *good cop is nice to the suspect* *bad cop shoots good cop and sets suspect free* man he’s a bad cop