Until you’ve thrown up peanut butter and jelly onto an 8 year old at the beach on a Sunday, don’t talk to me about your “drinking problems.”

I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.

Panty-less waxed woman hanging off a bridge “I’m gonna jump into that canoe”. Me: “No that’s your reflection”.

You say tomato, I say tomato But it doesn’t make that much sense when you read it.

Folks, what’s the deal with Stuart Little. Husband and wife go to an adoption agency and they give them a rat in a sweater. Surely illegal

I still have nightmares…. I still have nightmares about the time I gave my Eskimo friend a house warming gift…

who gives a shit about how many spiders you eat when you’re asleep? I’m worried about how many are getting into the other holes

This sub is so inactive There hasn’t been a post all year!

What do Catholics and guitar players have in common? Neither of them practice.

My dick may be short… …but it sure is skinny.