U2 just announced a world tour. Are they going tosell tickets, or just break into my living room and start playing?

How does every racist joke start? /OP looks around/

i wish everything was made out of pizza i’d be like hey bro sorry I ate your pizza car and pizza house and pizza wife.

Did you know it’s now politically incorrect to say ‘black paint’? Now you have to say “Jerome can you please paint the fence”.

My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves.

New boss. How do you spot a bad boss your first day on the job? Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)

Chewbacca has started a website that gives out all of the Empire’s secrets… Wookieeleaks

Whoops, wrong sub

What’s the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter came out of the Chamber alive.

*points at houseplant* no, YOU have a drinking problem!!