“You could have done so much better than him.” Me: Mom, I’m right here.

LOL there’s like 20 guys w/ “Female Body Inspector” windbreakers that’s hilarious they’re seizing my hard drive & business records LMAO

What is the difference between a straight man’s mustache and a gay man’s mustache? The smell.

Why couldn’t Cauchy lose any weight? Because every time he saw a street pole he imagined two pies.

A Nazi is beating a Soviet at a political debate. The Soviet says he needs to take a bathroom break. The Nazi says: “Now you’re just Stalin”.

What do you call a slav tree? A Dimitree.

How come when animals have sex at the zoo it’s “educational” But when I have sex it’s “immoral” and “illegal”

Knock Knock Who’s there? Oink. Oink Who? Make Up Your Mind…Are You A Pig or an Owl

With a margin of error of plus or minus three percent. That’s how I poll.

What’s the most favorite bird among most men? [BOOBIES!](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Booby) I can’t believe no one has made this joke here yet.