Pedophiles lobby for slower speed limits at school zones

What part of the house does a ghost not use? The living room

What do you call a jewish bodybuilder? Muscletov.

Atheism is non-prophet organization.

David Attenborough voice “Amazing. See how the youngest of the species always needs something when the mother is in the bathroom.”

Why do cows wear bells? …because their horns don’t work.

A mushroom… A mushroom walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. The bartender walks over and says “Hey, we don’t serve your kind here!” To which the mushroom replies “Why not, I’m a fungi!”

Who called them fake potatoes and not imitaters.

mom: why is there a Hispanic man climbing our balcony me: he is my romeo & I am his Juliet mom: (._. ) me: I’m just kidding call the cops

Why is pulling out 100% effective for superman? They never survive the 1000ft fall to earth. (Thanks Drawn Together)