Brooklyn When you go to Brooklyn always bring a camera, because there are many things in Brooklyn that you will see, then never see again in your life… Starting with that camera.

What do you call a kitten crying on the grass in the back yard? A lawn mewer. (I wrote this yesterday).

My bed is a magical place where I can suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.

My biggest fear is dying in a car accident that doesn’t totally destroy my phone

Where did the chess player go when he lost one of his chess pieces? The pawn shop.

Whats the difference between a zit and a priest? (My 17 year old camper just said this, made me cringe) A zit waits till you’re a teenager to come on your face.

I don’t mean to sound like a hypochondriac but I was diagnosed with the flu today & I feel like it’s been coming on for a few years now.

Damn boy, are you the black jelly bean? Because I absentmindedly picked you, and now I regret having you in my mouth.

If you can’t beat the record, you can beat up its owner.

Two skeletons open up a pasta resteraunt to serve the afterlife. What’s the resteraunt called? The Bone Zone.