Why will the artist formerly know as Prince only hire former FBI agents as his house maids? Because they must be able to “dust for Prince” I’ll see myself out now

I was suspicious that big multinational chemical corporation was up to no good, but then I saw that green cartoon leaf in its logo. Whew!

Which rabbits were famous bank robbers? Bunny and Clyde.

What is the best thing about liquid soap? It takes longer to pick up.

A customer walks in to a chemist’s. “I would like some deodorant please” The chemist replies “Ball, or aerosol?”

Yay it’s payday! *pays bills That was short lived.

Meta – Despite the rumors I am not stepping down as Mod for /r/jokes. Here’s why. I wasn’t a mod in the first place.

“You’re sure you understand stock trading?” ME: Yep “Then why (holds up card) did you trade our Google shares for a Charizard?”

Why did the scarecrow earn a promotion? Because it was outstanding in its field

How do trees access the internet? They log on