What did the number zero say to the number eight? “Nice belt.”

Me: I asked the waitress for diet Coke and she thought I said rum and Coke. Boss: 5 times? Me: Yeah I guess. B: ….. M: HR again?

Did you hear about the psychic midget that escaped from jail? The headline read: “Small Medium at Large.”

What’s the difference between Marcus Mariota and Floyd Mayweather? Best Duck Ever.

[pitching script] WRITER: then the motorcyclist removes their helmet… PRODUCER: *yawns*…and its a woman? W: it’s a burrito P: holy shit

Dad, Why was Mahatma Gandhi bald “Because he always spoke the truth” “Oh! That’s why woman have long hair”

An jihidist walks into a club …on a Tuesday…

A man married his own secretary thinking that she will still follow his orders as before.

Why aren’t Jewish Youtube celebrities’s work viewed at night? Because they’re stars-of-day-vids.

Find everything OK, sir? Everything except happiness! You won’t find that at Wal-Mart! We laughed & laughed until my credit card declined