Thursday is that guy who shows up early for the party, with margarita mix and no booze.

You got to hand it to blind prostitutes…

Have you seen the movie about a lone piece of graph paper? The plot was a bit scattered.

Great… This guy double parked his porsche, and now I’ve got paint all in my keys.

A dyslexic boy was beaten up by classmates for trying to ride on the regular bus instead of the short bus. Whoops, wrong sub.

A pretty girl walks into a bar. Bartender asks, “what are you having?”. Girl responds “I’ll take a a Double entendre”. … So he gives it to her.

In honor of National Limerick day (U.S.) There once was a man from Nantucket Who had a cock so big he could suck it He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin If my ear were a pussy I’d fuck it

What do two people with Parkinson’s disease do when they meet for the first time? They shake hands.

“Two messages, Sir. First, your tea has run out” “Correct English is ‘you’ve run out of tea’. What else?” “You’ve walked out of wife”

What’s the gift that keeps on giving? AIDS