How was copper wire first invented? Two Jews were fighting over a penny.

What was the first thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 victims? Their knees! Please comment “No”

I like my women like I like my coffee… …drunk. (Now tell me yours)

If I say “Bloody Mary” three times in the mirror in the dark I get a free drink, right?

Life is a dick… It looks short, but it becomes longer when it gets hard.

Want to hear a quality joke about knives? On second thought, I can’t tell it. It’s too edgy

Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class ? Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips !

Her: What’s your favorite part about being a stay-at-home mom? Me: Showering is optional Her: HAHAHA, be serious. Me: Ok, no drug tests.

If these seasonal allergies don’t kill me, that person I just sneezed all over probably will.

If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Football player ? The one in the sugar bowl !