One day the bass player hid one of the drummer’s sticks. The drummer said “finally! After being a drummer for so long now I am a conductor!”

[opens treasure chest & it’s full of treasure] Me: whoa Friend: what is it? Me [slowly closing chest]: spiders

What does Green Day say before bed? Green night

You never realize how boring life is until someone asks you what you like to do for fun.

I’m only listening outside the bathroom door to make sure you’re not touching the decorative hand towels.

What’s the worst part about being a rollerblader? Telling your parents that you’re gay.

What’s worse than a cardboard box? Paper titties

A young musician left his priceless Stradivarius violin on a train in Germany. But it was returned… no strings attached. Wait…what ?

Measurements in China. How long is a China man?

Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi and the driver kept the “Vacant” sign up?