What is Viagra for lesbians called? Batteries

What did the crop say to the Farmer? Why are you picking on me?

A Polar Bear walks into a cafe He says, “I’ll have a burger and…. a coke.” The waitress says, “Okay. But, why the long pause?” The bear says, “I don’t know. I was born with them.”

Do you know which End she was talking about? My teacher pointed me with her ruler and declared that at the end of her ruler is an idiot. I was suspended for a week for just asking which end!

Did you hear about the lawyer who ate gold? He passed the bar

I’ve always wanted to play smooth jazz while making love… …but apparently the bedroom is an inappropriate place for a drumkit.

What’s the definition of a school report? A poison pen letter from the principal.

I’m gonna be honest with you… Particle accelerators give me a hadron.

I love Americans. You guys have the best serial killers.

You guys! I’m so excited, I just hooked up with my crush from middle school. …but now she keeps calling me expecting me to show up at her graduation.