Did you hear that the BBC have sacked Bob the Builder? They feel they can no longer trust a children’s TV star who claims to be able to ‘fix it’

Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: Leos are so enthusiastic they carry their own light.

What do you call 500 dead lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

How does a butcher introduce his wife? Meat patty!

So a guy is eating a steak dinner at a restaurant… …when the waitress comes over and asked the man “How did you find the steak, sir?” The man looks at her and says “I just moved the potatoes.”

Why was the cannibal expelled from school? Because he kept buttering up the teacher.

She says she only drinks wine to collect corks for her Pinterest project, which is pretty cool cause it looks like she’s building a castle.

What’s long, green and smells like pork? “Kermit the frogs fingers”

Why are the people with the most annoying laughs the ones that find everything hysterical?

I fan speak a little French I’d like to bon appetit (bone a petite) Edit: can not fan