I imported a Honda directly from Japan and was forced to pay a large tariff… …that’s OK though because it’s my Civic duty.

We will require you to do something somewhat onerous and time-comsuming and then introduce impediments to completing it. – my employer

Want to hear a gay joke? Nevermind… it’s kinda gay

Knock knock Who’s There? Olive. Olive who? Olive my jokes are bad.

What do you call the science of knives? Cutting edge technology.

Not sure how coffee got its own table in the living room, but kudos.

“I’m a skeleton!” *kisses and hugs you* Stop that! *kisses and hugs you again* What kind of skeleton are you?!? “An XO skeleton”

If you sleep with two prostitutes in one day… what is the first one called? a whore-derve

I just got a new universal remote Wow! This changes everything…

Happy 2011! I can’t wait for Internet Explorer 9.