who lives in a pineapple in the back of the white van Spongebob, go meet him kids he has free candy, go and look

What do you call a one-eyed sailor? Pop-eye the sailor man!

What do you call a man with a colander on his head? COLIN! Duh!!!

I think my intelligence is beyond of an average human I just finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months, and at the back of the box it says 2-4 years

Two strangers are introduced “you have such a lovely name” “thanks, I got it for my birthday”

Why did Moe finally decide to kill of Homer Simpson’s son? he realized he was a Bartender

I was recently asked to be a part of a biological experiment. The researchers said they would mutate me with an extra chromosome and give me $10 000 for it. I’m down.

“Dad, lil bro pooped on the floor!”nMe: Ok, just like we practiced. I’ll hide in garage, you go tell Mommy. This convo never happened! GO!

Sent him a pic and he replied “BOOM!!” Trying to figure out if that means he liked it or he threw himself on a grenade.

How do you pick Dolly Parton’s Kids out of a crowd? They’re the ones with stretch marks around their lips.