Q: Why is a room full of married people empty? A: There isn’t a single person in it.

Why do push up bras not work for some girls? Because 0x0 is always 0.

Dad, I don’t wanna sleep with my little brother anymore! – I know, son, but I already told you that we don’t have enough money to bury him.

If your Uncle Jack was stuck on the horse… Would you help your uncle jack off the horse?

Around here we commonly refer to our intellectual property as ‘our shit’.

What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody Nose

My talking dog gave me a stick the other day and told me he found it 600 miles away. That’s a bit far-fetched.

What happened to the muslim who smoked weed? They got stoned

[Picking up girls] Me: you like bad boys, huh? Girls: yea Me to my wing man: tell them Wing man: he’s just literally the worst

How come Apple-products have so small transistors? Children have very small hands