How can you identify a French Infantryman? Sunburned armpits.

What’s the difference between Whitney Houston and a black widow? Nothing. Neither can climb out of a bathtub.

Once you go black.. You become a single mother.

Crayola is now doing its color testing on manatees and peta is pissed. Oh The Hue Manatee!

I once threw a boomerang, not knowing what it was for… Then it hit me.

If I could have any superpower, I would pick China.

What do you call people who don’t repost jokes? liars

How do you get a gay guy to have sex with a woman? Shit in her cunt

What do you call a man chasing a car? -Exhausted What do you call a man being chased by a car? -Tired

I had loads of bird seed as well as loads of parrots with headaches. Trying to hold onto all the bird seed but the parrots ate ’em all