So I was in a race against a Prius the other day. I kept up for the first 100ft but I can only walk so fast…

What’s the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scout comes back from camp!

Does shaking the vending machine count as working out?

Italian Spies Why do Italians make good spies? Because they’re masters of “DEESE GUYS!”

What’s the word that starts with an “N” that no one wants to call a black person? Neighbor.

Why do hockey players wear so many pads? Because they have 3 periods every game!

Did you hear about the guy who had writers block? He stopped writing and it was

What was the first thing Hitler bought from the beauty shop? Polish remover

I have a horse named mayo… Mayo neighs.

My wife’s sister My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.