The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

250 dogs escaped from the SPCA Police are following a number of leads.

You know why those automatic sensor sinks save water? Because none of them fucking work

How do you ruin a date with Princess Leia? By saying Alderaan things.

I don’t even want to know how many nude pics Donald Trump’s cell phone must have of him.

What’s the hardest thing about Rollerblading? Telling your dad you’re gay.

A pedophile walks into the woods with a little girl… Girl: I’m scared Pedo: Me too, I need to walk home alone.

Caught my son running a Google search for “adult entertainment”. I was mortified. We are strictly a Bing family.

Facebookers reacting to it snowing is very similar to a caveman reacting to seeing fire for the first time.

I always find New Year’s Eve stressful. I’ve been diagnosed with old langxiety.