Knights and dragons must have been the first rappers. After all, dragons spit fire, and knights slay.

Friends are like snow when you pee on them, they disappear.

What’s brown and rhymes with ‘snoop?’ Dr. Dre

Why was the bicycle laying on the ground? Because it was two-tired

What do you call a policewoman who hasn’t shaved for a week? Constable

I wish I was Jesus so instead of listening to the same Christmas songs every day if the office, I could be dead.

If you’re heartbroken, remember: There are plenty of fish in the sea. But I’d advise giving mankind another chance first.

What do you call a cow who is also a knight? Sir Loin.

If your girl tells you “Deeper!” and that’s all you got, just start reading poetry.

A Jewish boy asks his father if he can borrow $50 The father replies, “$40 dollars?! What do you need $30 dollars for??”