You know what’s a cool job?: Mirror inspector I could really see my self doing it.

TIFU by crashing my car The last thing that went through my mind was my anus

“It’s so hot outside…” “…that I poured McDonald’s hot coffee on my lap just to cool off.”

What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid? Reality

When Transformers was filmed in Detroit Michael Bay had to use CGI to repair buildings

What is 6 inches long 2 inches wide and makes a woman crazy? $100 bill.

A friend of mine was reading an article on a newspaper talking about the dangers of drinking, after that he stopped doing what he loved… …reading.

Why did Hitler break up with his girlfriend? She was a nein out of ten

*gently places finger on caroler’s lips* you had me at “O come”

What’s the worst thing about a September harvest? Finding a plane in your field.