There’s no “i” in denial.

What do you say when someone hands you a nice, ripe blunt in Germany? Danke

Went to a restaurant last night and the waitress had a black eye. I ordered slow and made sure to speak clearly. Because she obviously doesn’t listen.

12 Polacks were about to rape a German girl. She started yelling “Nein, nein, nein!” so 3 of them left.

Two blondes are having a conversation… Do you know that the black box of an airplane is actually orange! The other respond: OMG! So, it’s not a box?!?

Sheet manufacturers totally have us by the balls. What are we, not gonna buy sheets?

Why can’t Helen Keller Drive? She’s dead.

a little corny but here it goes…what can u make with onions and baked beans? tear gas

A limbo champion walks into a bar And loses his title.

ME: “I don’t want sex tonight” GIRLFRIEND: “ok” Reverse phycology doesn’t work on women.