Kanye West tweeted that Bill Cosby is innocent? This is the last straw. He just lost my vote in 2020.

I bought a new boomerang but it sucks, because i cannot throw my old one away.

The Energizer Bunny was arrested. He was charged with battery.

I carry a magnum size condom in my purse like a modern day glass slipper. Some day my prince will come.

I can take two pieces of rope eat them wait an hour then shit them out tied together…. I shit you knot… ha shit you knot

*lays head on homeless guys lap* “You would not believe the day I had”

My son had a really terrible experience while camping last weekend It was in tents

Political Correctness is out of hand You can’t even say “black paint” anymore, You have to say “Tyrone, please paint my fence.”

A horse walks to a bar… Many people get up and leave the bar as they see the potential danger in the situation.

Give us your best “…said no one ever” joke! “Why did they ruin this pizza with so much cheese?!” SNOE