Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair

I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.

Have you heard the one about the constipated mathematician? He had to work it out with a pencil

What do you call an English rock band that is high? THE ROLLING STONED!

Sluggish (n): What slugs speak.

Dont wanna cause any alarm.But hold off on the #HappyNewYear stuff.Just traveled 1 yr into the future.lets just say it went badly 4 all of u

What do you call a white boxer? Black and blue

Whoever stole my copy of Office 365, I will find you You have my Word.

Which cheese is made backwards? Edam.

The first time I bit into a Cadbury egg I understood women who spit.