Why did the chicken attend the seance? To get to the other side.

Only and only when a mosquito lands on your balls do you realize there are some problems that can be solved without violence 🙂

Hamster joke There is a boy, he owns a hamster. What does the hamster eat? Ham.

Where does Peter Pan like to eat out? Wendy’s.

Did you hear about the fish that went deaf? It had to buy a herring aid

When I was single, my most frequently used approach with women was to play hard to get rid of.

My father used to say “Life is like a box of chocolates…” **BECAUSE WOMEN WILL DESTROY YOU.**

I am so glad that BP is easier to spell then Eyjafjallajokull

What would Voldemort name his pet tortoise ? Voldetort.

It’s cruel that people make fun of the way Stephen Hawking talks. I use one of those voice boxes myself and can synthesise with him.