When a door closes… and incognito window opens.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

The Pillsbury Doughboy just passed away. His funeral service will take place at 3:50 and it will take 15-18 minutes.

Give me your best “Why don’t you make like a _______ and _______.”

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was both their last big hit.

I’m hosting a support group for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can’t come let me know

What do you call a hot high school math teacher? Expansion of minors

Me: Compassion is my compass. Him: We’ve been lost for 3 days and you gave your coat to a bear that looked cold.

Where is the most conflict in a loaf of bread? The middle yeast

Genetic link to male ageing and stress found in the XX sex chromosome. Hopefully it translates well enough into english.