Has anyone out there tried “Starbucks” coffee? It’s really good. I think that they have a location in LA.

What do you call Winnie The Pooh’s grandmother? Poohnanni

Media, stop using the phrase ‘breaking news’. It’s been broken for some time now.

“Knock Knock” “Whos there?” “From” “From who?” “Its pronounced, From *whom*!” Sorry for bad joke, please leave your criticism! I need it to make funnier jokes! P.S. its not!

what’s the healthiest thing about eating a wheelchair? The vegetable.

Why does the Trump campaign hire people in groups of three? One who can read, one who can write, and one to keep an eye on the other two “elitist intellectuals.”

Falling in love is just like falling down a well, except one is dank, dark and scary, and can really hurt you, and the other is a well.

My favourite joke – Two blondes are standing either side of a river, one asks the other “how do you get to the other side?” The other replies “You are on the other side…?”

Please don’t ask me if I like your new haircut, because I don’t and now you made me lie.

Why are Americas so Hung up on the constitution? It’s fucking ancient.