Whats the difference between a brown noser and a shithead? Depth Perception

I didn’t realize how religious the Japanese are. Always asking me if I have a pray station at home.

I never go camping, but I sometimes go to bed without the TV on so I get it.

Why don’t Chinese Restaurant owners do their dirty dishes? Because it’s too much wok! [Sorry, I just made that up!]

Whenever I hear an uninteresting 80 year old woman tell an uninteresting story I think, “Wow, you must have been really hot.”

Running your mouth is not cardio.

What’s the difference between a campfire and a bedroom? When things start heating up in the bedroom, the wood gets wetter.

Me I’m a joke

My most forced joke. How did the lumberjack keep his business from falling behind when all the trees ran out? By moving faux wood. Rimshot?

The Mexican magician The Mexican Magician tells the audience she will disappear on the count of three. He says “uno…dos…*poof*” he disappeared without a tres.