If evolution is real how come? Monkeys still throw their poop underhanded

Teacher: What a glum face what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours ? Pupil: I’d be too polite to mention it !

Blue cheese dressing makes anything a salad. For example, this french fry salad I’m eating right now

Next time you see someone you don’t like, begin conversation with “I see the assassins have failed.”

Is PETA aware that we’re still struggling with the ethical treatment of humans?

How do 5 gay men walk? One Direction!

What do you call the device that keeps an Armenian man safe? A Serj Protector.

Yo mama has so many chins it looks like she’s wearing a fat necklace !!

What does a gamer say when he get married? GG.

My doctor told me that I have syphillis, gonnorhea and chlamydia. On the positive side… HIV.