Why can’t silverware go on good road trips? Because every time they set out, they eventually come to a fork in the road.

Dem puns… Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine beans in Irish Bean Soup? Because if there be one moar, it’d be too farty!

A guy kept telling his girlfriend not to turn her head away near the end of a blow job…… Did she listen ? Nope….. it went in one ear and out the other

People who bend down to pick up a thread instead of running over it with the vacuum 37 times, what’s it like to exercise?

What is a ghost’s favorite part of school? Spirit week.

Hilary Clinton will make the best president She will save us 25% in salary right from the start.

What do you call a gay Nobel Prize Laureate in a blender? A homogeneous mixture.

Here’s a nerdy joke: If you use 8 bits from a Macbook, are you taking a bite from an Apple? Crunch.

Why are there no bungalows in France? Because the French have many flaws

Did you hear about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her.