– The DC Cinematic Universe

What do you call someone who majors in geology and astronomy A rockstar

My wife said I should compliment her features more often… … So I slashed her face.

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a racist… … a black man might rob me.

I went to an illiterate psychic I couldn’t get a reading

What do you call a nice Jewish Lyft driver? an Uber Mensch.

“Would you like to put your hand deep into this hole” – Pokemon I know it says no outside links but it’s necessary cause it’s a screenshot of a poorly phrased event in Pokemon http://imgur.com/a/Zt8X6

I thought my watch ran out of battery power… It scared me for a second.

You guys hear about that mathematics student who was flunking? He only understood his field to a degree and decided to look at it from a new angle.

What’s the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish shepard? The Stones say “hey you get off of my cloud!” The Shepard says “hey Mc Cloud get of of my ewe!”