What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common? They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.

Why can’t Jesus eat Skittles? Because they’re always falling through the holes his hands.

My boss said , “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting wearing my wonder woman costume

What is green sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together ? Chimney Cricket !

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese.

If you cannot afford a stenographer, a 4 year old will be appointed for you to repeat exactly what you said at all times. Do you understand?

How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb and one to hold the penisLADDER I MEANT LADDER

how are bi planes different from regular planes? a lot of them have a wide open cockpit.

Why should you slow down to let another car move into your lane? good karma.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just gave a little wine