Barbie has an awful lot of things for a girl who’s knees don’t bend.

Maybe Jehovah’s Witnesses keep knock knock knocking because they’re looking for Heaven’s Door. You don’t know.

an irishman walks out of a bar Hey! it could happen

Yo momma is so fat that she was sorted into the House of Pancakes

Math Problem Q: If the the radius of a pizza is *z* and its width is *a*, what is the pizza’s volume? A: (pi)(z)(z)(a)

What the difference between the U.S. Government and a bucket of crap? The bucket

I never feel more hypocritical than when I tell my kid she’s been on the computer too much.

Why does Edward never leave Russia? He’s always Snowden.

I bet my friend $1000 I’d never take it in the butt. He says I am just a sore loser.

What goes stomp, stomp, stomp, squish? An elephant with a wet boot