This is funny So is this

All the world is a stage, and the only seats I can afford are obstructed view.

Saw an offer up at a pet shop selling unwashed dogs ‘Buy one get one flea’

Talking to women is like writing code I look back at what I wrote a week later and think “what the hell was I thinking when I wrote that?!”

Q: What do you call a loaf of bread when you cut off both ends? A: Endless Bread!

What is Pink and lies on the doormat? Whitney Houston’s Valentines Day Cards

I’m American and I’m sick of people saying America is the stupidest country in the world… Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

What did the Gregorian monk say when he was kicked out of the monastery? Give me one more chants!

Dear Coworker, If I’m nodding my head & smiling at everything you’ve said, this means I’m fantasizing about getting banged by David Beckham.

I met a girl with 12 nipples. Sounds funny, Dozen tit?