Why did the coach prohibit the blonde from giving any bj’s to the team? The guys complained about the blow-dryer being too hot …

I wonder if internet commenters ever get tired of solving the world’s greatest problems.

Is it just me… Or are circles pointless

FOUR RULES FOR DATING MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER: 1) get her home by 11 p.m. 2) so we can chill 3) i have mario party 4) be my friend

Want to hear a word I just made up? Plagiarism

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle.

I promised my trainer that I’d set a gym schedule I would commit to regularly. So, now every time there’s a lunar eclipse I work out.

[Playing spin the bottle] “Ok so Fred has to kiss…” [Bottle spins out of control, goes back in time & lands at the last supper] “…Jesus”

yes 911 i need to report a kidnapping. lol yeah there’s a baby goat asleep in my lap. no dont send cops you’ll wake him up

To make a long story short, just walk away once you’re bored.