Why did Putin forget his backpack at home when leaving for school? He was Russian.

why is oral sex better than cake? Because you cannot have your cake and eat it too

A list of compelling arguments regarding the existence of God.

50 Shades of Grey is also the title of the 101 Dalmatians alternate ending where Cruella wins and makes a coat out of the puppies.

How can you tell if you’re at a gay picnic? The hot dogs taste like shit.

Two Polish guys are hunting for bears in the woods. They come across a fork in the road with a sign that says “BEAR LEFT” They both turn around and go home.

If storks bring white babies and crows bring black babies, then what brings no babies…… a couple of swallows !!

me: Go back! uber driver: Did I miss the turn? me [already in the front seat trying to find the station that was playing Taylor Swift]

What do sex and air have in common? Neither one is a very big deal, unless you’re not getting any.

A priest, rapist, and pedophile walk into a bar He orders a drink