Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.

cows are pretty nice to us considering that we eat them

Permanently blinded people of Reddit, what is your favourite movie?

Buy a ticket to Finding Dory and yell “She’s right there!” every time she comes on the screen until you’re escorted out of the theater.

A free corpse is a dead giveaway.

When you said you wanted to show me a stiff one, I had no idea you worked in a morgue.

single because i didn’t forward that chain mail in 2008

My wife said she wants another baby and if I play my cards right, I can be the father.

Who is the greatest author of the medieval era? King Author

What is the opposite of Dominoes? Domi does not know….