I designed a website for orphans. There isn’t a homepage.

“Mr. President, N. Korea is threatening to bomb your birthplace” “Why, there’s nothing for them in Keny-” “HAWAII, sir” “Right, that’s wh

I won $3 million on the Lottery this weekend. I decided to donate a quarter of it to Charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75 and she has $.25

Making Weatherproof Clothes by Ranier Day

I’m addicted to brake fluid. But I can stop any time.

No Shave November No Deodorant December Lose Your Job January Forget To Pay Rent February Move in With Mom and Dad March

I like my women like I like my hard drives… FAT and 32.

What do eggs say when they’re turnt? Omelette, fam

If the opposite of con is pro… Is the opposite of constitution, prostitution?

“She loves me not…” : Picks last petal : “She LOVES ME!” Flower: “…NOT! LOL nerd” : Whips out hidden petal shaped like middle finger :