You’re probably naked under all those clothes. You slut.

I heard 2k14 is so real that when you give the ball to kobe, the pass button stops working

Why is Italy shaped like a boot? Cuz there’s no way that amount of shit can fit into a normal shoe

I was in a horrible accident a few years ago, and I suffered some brain damage and lost feeling to my whole left side. I’m feeling all right now

What do you call a gorilla who magically smokes weed? Hairy Potter.

How do you add up a mountain? You summit.

I recently bought myself the new Obama gun. It won’t work and you can’t fire it.

In Hell, someone is constantly vacuuming while you’re trying to explain directions to an old man.

A gay man introduced himself to me at the bar the other day. He said, “my name is Richard. But I prefer Dick.”

Were there this many idiots before the Internet?