I was once in a play called Breakfast In Bed. Did you have a big role? No just toast and marmalade.

I was in that kosher supermarket earlier. I knew something was wrong when an automated voice said, “unexpected gunman in the bagging area”.

Why is Santa Claus so horny? Because he only comes once a year!

What’s the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza can have meat and cheese.

I’m addicted to drinking brake fluid. But I can stop anytime.

I will never forgive the nazis for what they did to my grandfather He worked 8 years on the guard tower with out a single promotion

Human drinks a Vampire’s blood. Out of curiosity, the Vampire asks what it tastes like. “It’s irony.”

A man once thought he’d discovered a new primary color but it proved to be merely a pigment of his imagination.

What Do You Call A Fight Between An Illegal Immigrant And A Child Molester? Alien vs. Predator

“You give me one leather jacket, I invest it, then give you back TWO leather jackets!” – Fonzi Scheme