How do Mexican dogs say “hello” when in Japan? Konnichihuahua

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. 7 also got herpes from 14 and stabbed 23 through 30 in a gang fight.

Whats the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby i just killed? Newton died a virgin

I went to the dentist. I sat down in the chair and he said, “Open up for me…” “OK,” I said, “my parents don’t love me very much.”

Q: What were Bill and Chelsea Clinton doing in the voting booth? A: Bill was giving his daughter a lesson in Civics how to ruin the people!

I was just about to get offended by a stranger on the Internet when I remembered I’m not an idiot.

So many Jesus accounts…and not one is verified

I tried giving up erections for lent… but it got pretty hard.

Screw you, targeted Facebook ad for adult diapers! *thinks about not having to pause TV or games* *orders some*

What did the Networking manager tell his assistant about working late? Tell my wifi won’t be home for dinner.