Just saw a coyote next to the highway… I hope this tunnel ahead isn’t just painted on.

How do trees get online? They just log in…

I shot my first turkey today! But for some reason everyone in the frozen food section acted really surprised.

What did the stone say to the hill? Let’s Rock and Roll.

I have no idea what Steampunk is except that it must be healthier than Fried Punk.

Why did the snooker player go to the toilet? To pot the brown.

Men: The Only creature blessed with the superpowers to make Any machine a smoke machine in kitchen especially when his wife isn’t home.

After drinking that much, I just hope whatever I bring back home is some sort of human.

I came up with a plan to help people with debt, it’s called “Don’t buy shit you can’t afford!”

My grandparents worked hard to make sure their kids had everything and I’m working hard and not having kids to make sure I keep everything.